A few hours ago, I completed another VN called The Answer. It's essentially a parody that gives advice on how to create a VN that is, at the very least, not complete shit. It's advice that I've heard before, but after reading it, I felt like I had some sort of revelation. An epiphany on my creative ability, perhaps? Even after getting back to work, that advice has been sitting at the back of my head, prying its way into my thoughts.
A lot of the slow progress on BFD comes from my lack of confidence in my skills. To be fair, I've never seriously engaged in a project of this scale before, and I'm the only person in the development team. Even so, BFD still has to be made. I don't make BFD because I want to; I make it because I must. I feel empty when I don't progress. I can only satisfy that emptiness if I keep working, even if I don't think the results are good. That feeds into my insecurity. The insecurity takes my attention away from working to brooding on what I can still do. That leads to a lack of progress, which brings in more emptiness. It's a cycle I can't seem to break yet.
Even so, I continue to work. I designed some sprite poses that look like trash, but I know I can fix them if I pull up some references. Then I wonder what else I can work on. Definitely the summary for Chapter 2, but I don't have a strong enough grasp of the protagonist. Better wait until I come up with something. Well fuck, now the entire development's pace has slowed to a crawl. Thanks, depression.
I'm not sure how long it will take for me to make more substantial progress, but until then, the next post will probably be an explanation for BFD's story.
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